Unmotivated homeschooling youngster, parent dreading the subsequent year around?
First off, I will say, I love my step-daughter dearly & we have a great relationship. Her biological mother have had a lot of struggles that I won't get into but a moment ago to make the point this isn't any type of problem with our relationship.I have be homeschooling my 14yr old stepdaughter for two years now & we are about to try the 4th curriculum so far because we haven't have luck with any of them & before that, we didn't have any luck near public school either. She has ADD & so do my other children who I hold no problems homeschooling. My oldest really just does not care & I know it sounds terrible but I am only just dreading even trying to do this again with her, I hate wasting the energy, I antipathy taking time away from my other children who want to learn & I almost feel that it's pointless to spend the large amount of money for a "great certified school" when I know she couldn't care less. I'm not really looking for advice on what to do beside her being that I tried literally everything just to get her to cram her multiplication tables that she still doesn't know along with everything else. I'm just looking for some munificent of encouragement to not give up & to do what I've got to do because I think the ultimate thing this situation needs is an unmotivated parent right along with the teen.Answers: my guess is she really doesn't have any reason to learn multiplication table. She's 14 and they are probably not high on her list of 'things to learn'.
You might want to build a curriculum that fits her, not vice-versa. What is she interested in? what does she want to swot about? Take her to the library and see what she checks out on her own.
Meanwhile, check out Grace Llewellyn's Teenage Liberation Handbook, how to Quit School and Get a LIfe.
And throw away the labels. She's a person, innovative and individual. Find out what she wants to learn about and nurture that interest and you'll both be fine. Sounds like she's unique enough not to fit into a curriculum-in-a-box and that's a biddable thing.
At what age can she start work where on earth you live? Maybe she needs to see what it is like to work with no training or there might be some sort of traineeship that she could do to get her motivated. What hobbies does she have? Try gardening, photography, video games(with the guide books to read more or less the games), beading, crochet or knitting. With any of these there are books or patterns that are available to assist beside these hobbies. Any hobby she has will probably have a series of books or magazines that will stimulate her to read more to learn about it. Knitting is also said to be good for maths skills. What does she do every year? Good luck.
What interests does she hold? Maybe she belongs in vo-tech, working with her hands, or some other skilled nouns? She must be interested in something, so maybe let her explore (in a guided way) that entity. It will get you off the hook of pushing against the inertia, and move her along a path on which she fits. I am assuming here that at hand is some creative/ constructive interest that you can tap into. On the other hand, if she is sucking energy out of the household, perhaps it is better that she be school away from home, and here too, vo-tech might be the answer.There are several low-cost homeschool academies that specialize in helping parents homeschool their children who have special requirements. It sounds like that may be the way to go. Usually they require any online or paper testing before placing a student into curriculum.
Usually near an unmotivated student having a list of assignments that need to be worked on help, especially if they can cross them off as they go and can see the list getting shorter. Source(s): http://charitychristianacademy.org/I'm sincerely sorry that homeschooling your 14-year hoary stepdaughter has been such a thankless and unfulfilling living for you. As a mother myself (never mind a homeschooling one), I truly feel for you. You certainly don't have an graceful job of it.
Yet, I also can't help but feel for your stepdaughter, who apparently possesses neither motivation nor any unusual interests. If you'll forgive me for saying so, this goes against the laws of character. The teenage/young adulthood years are the most energized years in the entire lifespan of a human being. When a teenaged child of ours shuts down as yours have, that just isn't normal. Something else is surely going on.
The first thing I’d do is filch her to a medical/mental health expert to rule out depression. Depression is not only not at all unusual contained by children of divorce, it is far more prevalent than divorce "experts" originally thought a mere decade ago. Nor is depression at all unusual in teenagers growing up in middle/upper class communities, where on earth the pressure to get into top-tier colleges is particularly intense. Moreover, your stepdaughter has so far lived during 9/11 and the current Recession. Children of this age, given what they've witnessed within their nonetheless short lifetimes, are particularly prone to feeling helpless and hopeless.
Once you enjoy ruled out medical depression in your stepdaughter, I would be inclined to lay off of her. Trust her and enjoy unabashed faith in her. But, in expressions of active homeschooling, focus on your younger children/stepchildren..
Something tells me that your 14-year old is shutting down due to pressure she can’t pedal. Wherever--and whatever--that pressure is coming from, you can’t begin to decipher it until you let step in good faith and simply enjoy confidence in that child. Resist all temptation (however well-intentioned) to alert her that she is “ruining her life” or “never going to amount to anything.” Simply, and with grace, let her be. Only then can she initiate to find her own way.
It is impossible for me to not commend you for taking such an interest, and expending so much energy, in a child who is biologically another woman’s contained by the first place, and a seemingly intransigent child in the second.
Yet, you have a serious opportunity to make a most esteemed difference in a child’s life right now, a difference that, if you transport it out with sensitivity, patience and wisdom, will not individual endear you to this child forevermore, but quite possibly will enable you, through this child, to make a most important and irrefutable contribution to this world.
Try getting some books on careers to have her read through. Have her take a job interest inventory, to help her figure out what sorts of careers she might be interested within and what she'd need to learn in directive to get there.
Perhaps also some counseling or self-help books to help her amount out that she doesn't have to follow in her mother's footsteps, and she isn't to blame for her mom's problems. Also to help her realize that she's decide now what her future will be like, whether it will be comfortable or tough.
In other words, try to attain her to set some goals for herself.
Also, if she's not interested in anything, try to find some things that she might be likely to wallow in. You might have to force her to do them at first (whether a hobby, or a charitable cause to work for, or a club to participate in), but getting her interested surrounded by something will pay off big time if you can manage it.
Definitely don't donate up. But you might want to quit spenting big bucks on some accredited program. Instead, let her play a part surrounded by deciding what she'll study. Let her play a role in deciding the courses and she might really surprise you. (I'm not pushing unschooling, but you might find that if you read aloud, you can use this textbook or that one or you design something else to cover this subject, she might run with it. If she doesn't, use whatever you want. And if she isn't interested, quit using a special curriculum for her and try using more group projects, where adjectives the kids work together on science or history topics. Then you won't feel that you are wasting a lot of time on her....)
Good luck. Apathy is common at this age. And it is vastly common with children who've become stepchildren. In fact, you might want to capture her some serious counseling to deal with her issues.... But the time you are spending on her will eventually pay past its sell-by date; keep trying your best.... Related Questions: